


The Fountain of Youth

by dovingbird



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Couch Sex, F/M, consensual polyamory, flapbang, mortebang, no cheating here, no sirree, nope - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 08:38:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1462846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovingbird/pseuds/dovingbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Surely it's not just Suzy that can see Danny going into a mid-life crisis. ...wait...seriously, nobody else is seeing this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fountain of Youth

She first notices it after the haircut.  
  
He has a sweet heart, Danny, and that's why Suzy's been willing to bite her tongue for the past few months, when the massive scraggly weight of his hair began to become unbearable. She does nice things instead. She buys him hats and gets him nice new hair products for longer hair and even sits him down in front of her vanity one day to show him that having his hair pulled back maybe doesn't look all that awful. And he smiles and thanks her, but he only wears the hats to be polite and the ponytail only happens when they're filming a stupid video to chill Arin's pretty irrational anger at what's already a stupid video game. So she endures. Faces the hair crisis happening right in front of her, because she knows what it's for, knows that he's only weeks away from cutting it off and donating it to Locks of Love and that after that he can go right back to being a normal human being.  
  
She goes when he gets his hair cut given that she needs a trim too, and when she finishes first she spends her time waiting curled up in one of their comfy lobby chairs flipping through their magazines for inspiration regarding make-up. She sees Danny's shoes - those god awful shoes - and glances around the magazine with a bright smile. "Wow, look at you!"  
  
He grins, rustling the shorter hair between his fingers. "Yeaaah..."  
  
"You look amazing!" She hops up and hurries over to praise and investigate. "God, did they put something in your hair? It smells incredible."  
  
When she reaches to touch it he bobs away a little, laughing in that nervous sort of way that she recognizes immediately. "Well, you know, every hairdresser thinks they have a cure for my hair-"  
  
"Will you hold still? Geez, Dan." And so he does, so she can be curious about the texture and feel how nice it is between her fingers. But then she sees it. At first she thinks it's a trick of the light, but as she squints and tilts her head she realizes it sure fucking isn't. "...wait...is that-"  
  
And Danny steps away, sweeping his arm toward the door. "You wanna go get some ice cream or something? I'm buying. I've got SUCH a monster craving for some pistachio."  
  
And even as they get in the car and Suzy restrains herself to one glance, just one, out of politeness, she knows she saw the hairs that are graying at the roots.  
  
~~~  
  
  
Next, it's the new clothes.  
  
Maybe that's a little much. He clearly gets new attire, but it's exactly the same as before. A new plaid shirt, this time blue-and-black, and unbuttoned quite a bit. Darker, more fitting jeans, longer than the ankle-baring 90's acid washed things he always wore before. The leather jacket's the same, but the _shoes._ They...they look _good._  
  
No one else notices. Arin gives him a little fistbump, mumbling through a mouth full of chips, as he passes him to the Grump Room. Barry just gives him an acknowledging call, brow still furrowed as he navigates with his mouse like a racecar. Ross isn't there, not today, but Suzy's pretty damn sure he wouldn't see a thing either.  
  
Boys are so fucking blind it hurts.  
  
She waits until he goes to get a soda, because he has this tendency of standing in front of the fridge deliberating for a full minute every time, and then she's right on his heels. She makes herself be casual. Just leans into the kitchen island and clears her throat. "...did you go shopping recently?"  
  
Danny freezes, staring a little longer into the fridge than he should, before looking at her and forcing a smile. "Oh, you know, I, uh...I figured I might as well celebrate a little with the money I have now, and..."  
  
"...and you went clothes shopping."  
  
"A-among other things."  
  
She crosses her arms over her chest, cocking her head to the side. "They look good."  
  
His grin widens. "Thanks!"  
  
"Especially the shoes."  
  
He glances down, tapping his toe on the floor. "Well, I mean-"  
  
"You don't buy new clothes."  
  
"Huh?" He looks up, eyes widening.  
  
"You buy Skittles. You buy music. You buy movies. You do _not_ buy clothes. Not unless you're getting a stupid costume for Ninja Sex Party."  
  
He definitely looks scared now. Good. It means she can pounce.  
  
"Why are you buying clothes, Danny?"  
  
He bites his bottom lip, shutting the fridge. "I, uh...because my old ones were...old?"  
  
"They weren't _that_ old."  
  
There's a moment of silence before he leans one of his skinny hips against the fridge and meets her eyes again. "I didn't know I needed a reason to go shopping."  
  
She's making him feel defensive, then. She instinctively takes a step to the side, leaning over the island to make herself look a little smaller, or as small as she can with the heels she's wearing. "I'm just jealous you didn't take me with you."  
  
And so he laughs and looks down at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to rustle his hair before he realizes there's not much point in that anymore. "I'm..." And when he looks up at her there's this tiny little flush on his cheeks - maybe it's just because the lighting in here is still pretty shitty and so she's seeing things, but she could swear that... "I'm sorry. Uh, you could always go next time?"  
  
Something is still making her unsettled. But she can't pinpoint exactly what it is yet, and so she just flashes him a smile. "Sometime in this century, do you think?" she asks, tilting her head.  
  
"I'll do my best."  
  
She lets him leave to Grump, but she follows him with her eyes, trying to figure out if he opted for all of his clothes to be just a bit tighter or not.  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
"Do you think my car is getting kind of old?"  
  
Suzy doesn't even look up from her scarab beetles. She knows Danny's talking to Arin and Ross anyway. But she tunes in just a little more, slows her fingers to compensate for her attention leaving her craft.  
  
"Your car's fine," Arin says. "Better than mine."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"No, I'm serious, it's pretty damn nice."  
  
Silence. They're focusing on reading through their mail, making notes as to who sent what game and if they're gonna play it or not, and Ross is doing that thing where he taps his foot on the floor, breaking the silence just enough to keep it from being unbearable. Danny finally speaks up again. "I was, uh...maybe thinking about a motorcycle."  
  
Suzy glances up just in time to see Ross perk up and speak. "That'd be bitchin'."  
  
"Don't say 'bitching,' Ross, it makes you sound like more of an asshole than usual."  
  
"Fuck you, I'm adorable."  
  
But Suzy's still staring at Danny. He hasn't looked up, hasn't even cracked a smile. Hell, he's not even writing anymore. Just staring blankly at his notepad and tapping the nib of his pen on it in that anxious way he has when he can't quite get a lyric out the way he wants it. She saw it way too many times when he'd push through during Grump breaks while Starbomb was still an approaching thing, and she'd quickly learned never to enter the room when he was doing that.  
  
...she was watching him a lot recently, wasn't sh-  
  
"The insurance would be shit, though."  
  
"God, tell me about it," Danny murmurs, leaning his head back with a sigh. He sticks his pen between his teeth and stares at the ceiling, but when he tucks his arms behind his neck and his shirt rides up, as it often does, she realizes that she doesn't see the band of his boxers that she's so used to.  
  
She stares for a moment longer than she should before alarm sparks through her and she realizes that, wow, she's actually staring at his _crotch_ and she's pretty sure he's not wearing a damn thing there, and wow, okay, maybe she should just go back to her beetles because otherwise she's going to wreck them and these supplies were actually pretty expensive.  
  
"What do you think, Suzy?"  
  
And she looks up from the beetles again and meets Arin's eyes, and he's giving her this special little smile, the one that's borderline on a smirk, that makes a spiral of warmth twist through her from head to toe.  But the reaction's different now. It takes her a moment to piece together that it's because that warmth had already started to spin before she caught his gaze. She wrinkles her brow, but he just grins a little wider.  
  
Everybody's looking at her, she realizes. She licks her lips and focuses. "...I think it's a stupid idea." She huffs and looks back down at the beetles, going back to her work. "Danny'll fall off and break his neck."  
  
"He practically does that just walking around every day." Ross chuckles. "I'm amazed he doesn't just walk into traffic sometimes."  
  
She feels oddly anxious suddenly, feels the way her skin seems to shimmer in a cool sweat.  
  
"Anyway, it'd mean I'd be upgraded to Not-So-Grump, so hey, man, go right ahead and buy the fuck out of that motorcycle-"  
  
" _Ross._ " Suzy barely realizes she's spoken until it's so quiet that she can hear the electricity buzzing in her brain, and when she looks up they're all staring at her once again. "...too far."  
  
He opens and closes his mouth a few times like a fish. "Oh, come on! It's not like he..." Arguing with Suzy is futile in this house, though, and he should know that by now, so when she glares he slumps into the couch. Pouts a little. Quirks a brow, looking at Danny. "You know I'm kidding, right?"  
  
Danny rolls his eyes. "Yeah."  
  
"I mean, I say stupid shit sometimes, but you know I think you're awesome, right? And one of my best friends?"  
  
"Dude, of course. Don't worry about it."  
  
And Ross gives him a little hug, and the howls of annoyance start when the hug starts to turn into a lapdance, and that's when Suzy rips off her gloves and leaves the room because she's bubbling up with words to say, too, and it's not quite socially acceptable to say them.  
  
She takes the stairs two at a time, hurrying to the bedroom, and begins scrubbing her hands to get the smell of the latex off, to lose herself in a methodical act, like applying winged eyeliner or ironing her favorite skirt to get the perfect pleated creases, but she's barely been there for thirty seconds before Arin fills the mirror where he leans into the doorframe. "Hey," she murmurs.  
  
"Hey." He glances over her, smiling softly. "...have I ever told you that you're pretty?"  
  
She looks down at her hands, scrubbing a little harder, trying to pretend the compliment doesn't still warm her up.  
  
"Like, seriously, if I could've drawn the perfect, hottest babe before I met you, she wouldn't have come close to you. You are like literal perfection."  
  
And he's a bastard because he can always make her smile, even when she's confused out of her mind and maybe even a little frustrated.  
  
"And that's why...it's really fucking lame to see you upset about something." He cocks his head to the side, hair falling in his face, and blows it away from his eyes. "Because you're never more beautiful than when you're happy."  
  
She closes her eyes and sighs heavily, turning the water off and rubbing her forehead with her dry wrist.  
  
"...is there somebody I have to kill?" Arin asks, his voice lilting with amusement. "Let me at 'em. Nobody puts Baby in a corner."  
  
"You're such a nerd," she murmurs, but she's still smiling so she can't manage the statement with as much playful vitriol as she often gives it. She focuses on drying her hands, collecting her thoughts, thankful that Arin keeps his mouth closed for a few seconds more. "...something's...different about Dan."  
  
"Yeah? Like what?"  
  
"I don't know. It's just off. It has been for a week and a half now."  
  
When she wanders over to him he opens one arm, swipes her into his chest and holds her there. "What started it?"  
  
She balls up her hands with a hum, resting one against his chest and the other on his squishy stomach. "...the haircut, I guess."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
His chest vibrates when he speaks. She's always felt so comforted by that. It lets her relax all the more, makes her nuzzle into the scent of his body wash that clings to his t-shirt. "It...like...have you looked at him closely lately?"  
  
"No closer than usual," he murmurs with a chuckle. "I haven't tried to kiss him, if that's what you mean."  
  
Her stomach flips. She doesn't bother to try to figure out why. "I could've sworn...that I saw a little gray at his roots."  
  
"What, seriously?"  
  
"Totally."  
  
"And you think that, of all things, is freaking him out?"  
  
She gives him a little shove and walks into the bedroom, frowning.  
  
"Babe, c'mon, I'm just trying to figure this out." He follows her, flops onto the bed while she perches on the edge. "I mean, Dan's not some teenybopper who's gonna get freaked out by that stuff. He's better than that."  
  
"And yet something's still wrong."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just look at him! He's buying stuff he doesn't even need-"  
  
"Suzy, he's finally supporting himself without a stupid day job. Isn't that what we did? Just went balls deep in shopping for a bunch of shit?"  
  
"But it's different."  
  
"How?"  
  
She drums her nails on her leg, huffing as she leans forward and rests her chin on her hand. "He's just...he's...he's more self-conscious now."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I wish you'd stop asking me that."  
  
"Well then, give me reasons up front why he's doing shit. Don't just make...vague generalizations."  
  
He's right, and that's what rankles her, but she keeps her mouth shut anyway. She glances up, sees herself in the mirror, how her lips are a thin line and her eyes are narrowed, and exhales, trying to relax. "...look, baby, I know you think he's better than that, but maybe he's not. He's pretty vain."  
  
"Dan. Vain."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Arin scoffs, but doesn't say anything else. Just sort of considers it, even when she glances over her shoulder at him. He's screwed up his face a little. It takes a few more seconds before he murmurs "...yeah, I guess he is a little."  
  
"And wouldn't that vanity, like, kick in to the extreme once he started feeling old?"  
  
"He's thirty-five. He's not old."  
  
She arches her eyebrows. "He's almost ten years older than just you and me - hell, he's even _older_ than his roommate - and you think he's not gonna think he's old?"  
  
"Pssh." Arin cocks an eyebrow and looks at her, grinning. "I told you, he's better than that."  
  
She stares at him for a long moment before standing up and brushing the wrinkles out of her shirt. "In eight years, how about we revisit that statement?"  
  
"How about you get me some proof that Danny's going through, what, a mid-life crisis, is that your idea?"  
  
"Proof? What, I'm supposed to interview him talking about it or something?"  
  
"I mean, I could always dress up like a schoolgirl and go seduce the fuck out of him." Arin waggles his eyebrows at her. "See if he's desperate now that he feels old and ugly."  
  
She married this man. She actually married him. "No. No, I don't think that'd work." She pauses with a chuckle. "Maybe with Brian. But not with him."  
  
"Duly noted for the future."  
  
"But I'll do it."  
  
Arin blinks. "Do _what?_ "  
  
"Get some proof for you." She pauses. "Not...not seduce him in a schoolgirl outfit-"  
  
"Wow, Suze."  
  
"I can't believe you thought I meant that."  
  
Arin throws his head back and laughs, rolling onto his back. "I mean, it's not like I'd mind - it's _Dan_ \- but wow. You just about walked right into that one."  
  
"Wait, what?"  
  
"Like, walked so fast you hit your head on the doorframe and got a concussion-"  
  
She attacks, dives on him and pins his wrists down on the bed, holds his eyes. "What do you _mean,_ you wouldn't mind?"  
  
He bites his bottom lip as he flicks his eyes over her face. His eyes are sparkling in that heated way they get when she holds him down. "Exactly what it says on the tin. It's Dan." He shrugs. "If you're gonna fuck anybody besides me, it might as well be him."  
  
"That's...that's..." She's trying to shape the word 'disgusting,' but it's impossible, so she gives up and huffs, wrinkling her brow. "Why is it okay if I go and fuck Danny?"  
  
"'Cuz it...wouldn't be just fucking, would it? You _like_ Dan."  
  
"I like Barry too-"  
  
"Barry's your bro. You and me both know that. But Danny's different. You _like_ him."  
  
She shoves away with a huff, sitting with her arms and legs crossed like a spoiled brat and she doesn't even care. "Oh yeah?"  
  
"I mean, he's got a certain...God, what the fuck do they say...'je ne sais quoi'? Right?"  
  
Silence. She turns her head away from him.  
  
"He's the biggest fucking dork on the face of the planet, but he's got the biggest heart right beside it. Loves the shit out of everybody. Wants them all to be happy even if he's gotta chop himself down first, right? He's loud, funny, enthusiastic, one big exhibitionist." And Arin sits up and leans forward, catches her eyes again with a grin. "Sounds a little like your type, right?"  
  
She hates her husband some days. "So why wouldn't it be just fucking?"  
  
"Because if I'm right..." He cocks his head to the side like a puppy. "...and I bet I am..." Grins wider when she starts blushing. "...you've got some feelings for the bastard. So it wouldn't be dirty and distant, right? Because I don't think either of you are capable of that."  
  
"But you're my husband. It'd be cheating."  
  
Arin blows a raspberry and rolls his eyes. "It'd be you sleeping with somebody you cared about. What do I care if it's not me? It's you being happy. That's what's important."  
  
She bites her lip and looks down at the bed, rubbing her legs absently. It takes a moment for the buried thought to come out. "I'd be a slut."  
  
"You'd be having sex with people you love. God forbid you ever do that."  
  
He spreads a balm over her heart with those few words, makes her love him all the more. A few more seconds pass before she laughs. "How did we get from Danny having a mid-life crisis to me fucking him?"  
  
"Hell if I know." Arin shrugs and drops back down on the bed. "Our entire relationship's enough to make you dizzy, isn't it?"  
  
"You still want proof?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Then I'll get it."  
  
He grins. "That's my girl."  
  
~~~  
  
She prints out a list of symptoms of a mid-life crisis that night before she goes to bed, and then she sits and waits.  
  
Danny comes over the next day with an enormous atlas and lays it out on the dining room table, chattering excitedly about how he wants to take a massive cross-country road trip with everybody. About how exciting it would be, just the six of them (Holly is coming too, of course, to keep Ross in check) exploring new places, rock climbing, swimming in the ocean on the other side of the country, sledding, watching sunrises in a new location every day.  
  
Barry quietly reminds him that they have a schedule to keep up if they're going to keep getting paid, and Danny immediately deflates. Folds up the atlas with a pout and sulks for the rest of the day.  
  
Suzy eyes Arin as she scratches off increased ambition, daydreaming, and a sense of remorse for goals not accomplished.  
  
~~~  
  
It takes two days until he walks out on a Grump session.  
  
She's not in the room when it happens, but Arin fills her in later. Tells her about how he was tense all day, how the conversation led to one of his famous stories about where his life has led him, and then how he absolutely shut down. Went on a rant with gritted teeth about how all he'd ever accomplished in life was being a huge, stupid pothead who nearly killed himself and people he loved eighty billion times because he wasn't in his right mind, that soon he's going to lose all his memories anyway because it's not like he did much to keep them around, and how what is he now? Just some loser that sits around playing video games. And hey - he interrupted Arin trying to chill him out here - maybe he could do something better and make new memories if it wasn't for this fucking job tying him down all the time, eh?  
  
Suzy watches the footage before Arin deletes it. Scratches off questioning the decisions he's made in his life and goes ahead and ticks off anger at his spouse for feeling tied down while she's at it.  
  
She's pretty sure Arin believes her now.  
  
~~~  
  
  
Suzy takes it upon herself to be the elected representative to investigate what's up with Danny. Barry's basically been living at the Hanson's during this whole crisis thing - apparently Dan's been blasting music at such a ridiculous level that he can hear it all the way through his headphones while he's editing - so she bums his apartment key off of him with the promise that she'll get back in a few hours and goes hunting.  
  
It's probably a bad thing, how intentional she is when she's dressing and doing her makeup, but she's pleased with the effect. Glossy straightened hair. Dramatic wings, of course, on her eyes, and smoky shadow. Her favorite blue-green contacts. Short skirt, tank top, edgy jacket and boots...she looks like she's dressed for a night of clubbing.  
  
Most importantly, she looks like she's about twenty. She's pretty sure there's no way this can go wrong.  
  
She gets a kiss and a knowing look from Arin, one she answers with a nice big middle finger with a heart painted on its nail, before she heads out. Drives all the way there with Beyonce playing through her speakers the whole time.  
  
She's barely one step out of her car before she hears the thumping bass, a heavy sort of primal music that she's not used to hearing. Takes just a moment longer before she realizes it's coming straight from Danny and Barry's apartment. Of course. She slides off her sunglasses with a little huff before making her way to the door, shaking her head.  
  
He doesn't hear when she knocks. That's just fine. That's what the key is for. She lets herself in and nearly gets blown over by the music exploding from the living room.  
  
Danny's there, of course, back to her, but he's dressed like a psycho. Black leather vest, no shirt, dark skinny jeans, black leather boots...she's pretty sure he's looked like this once or twice in an NSP video, but in real life? Laughable. He's headbanging and air guitaring on the couch, and she stares for a few seconds longer before slamming the door so loudly that he falls on his ass with a surprised shout.  
  
"Suzy?!"  
  
"Jesus Christ, Danny, I can practically hear that music all the way from my house!"  
  
He scrambles to the stereo as she shouts her words, nearly trips into it with his haste to turn it down. "How the hell did you get in?!"  
  
She holds up Barry's key and wiggles it before popping it into her purse. "I was sent here on a mission."  
  
"What?"  
  
"An intervention, actually."  
  
He's immediately crossing his arms over his chests and frowning, even narrowing his eyes a little. "Oh, really?"  
  
"Mm-hmm." She slides her jacket off, tries not to thrill a little at the way his eyes widen and flick over her before shooting away just as quickly, focusing on the couch as he crosses to it with his hands linked nervously behind his neck. "So hey. You want me to beat around the bush or cut right to the chase?"  
  
It's funny, really. She's always been direct. Danny, meanwhile, he's the kind of guy that goes around the block about thirty times with his train of thought before he gets to the point of it all. Maybe it's all the drugs he used to do or whatever, but that's just how he is, and she sort of doubts that it'll ever change. Waits for him to hit his stride.  
  
Instead he flops down on the couch and looks at her all hard and ready for a fight. "Go ahead. Shoot."  
  
She blinks. "...seriously?"  
  
"You've got stuff to say, so go ahead and say it." He waves a hand through the air with a huff. "I-I mean, I was sort of expecting it'd be Arin coming here and asking me to leave, but I guess it'll be easier coming from you, right? Is that what he thought?"  
  
She furrows her brow. "Danny, nobody wants you to leave."  
  
"Right, like I believe that." He rolls his eyes. "I walked out on filming an episode. Like you guys are gonna want me to stay around."  
  
"Like Arin would let you leave right now." No, he's been through that already, thank you very much, and for reasons that she doesn't like to dwell on. She walks across the room, shoes going from clicking on the hardwood entry to squishing into the carpet. "You know who else has walked out on filming before? Arin. And Ross. No, you've just joined the ranks of frustration. And that's totally fine."  
  
He doesn't really seem keen to look at her, but when she stops in front of him with her hands on her hips he can't really avoid it anymore without being completely rude, and apparently he hasn't crossed that bridge yet. He slides his eyes up her figure, obviously trying to be surreptitious, actually failing miserably. "I don't know why you're here, then."  
  
She should be graceful. She should find an easy way to back into this subject. But again, the habit of charging straight into the point...she cocks her head to the side, hair spilling over her shoulder. "Danny, when was your birthday?"  
  
He doesn't answer for a second. "...back in March."  
  
"How old did you turn?"  
  
He chuckles, though she hears a taste of bitterness on the tone. "What we tell the fans or the truth?"  
  
She eyes him.  
  
"...thirty-five."  
  
"And how does that make you feel?"  
  
He flicks his eyes to the side, huffing. "Fine."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You're sure about that?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
She leans down until they're eye-to-eye, feels him meeting her gaze tentatively while she herself is firm as anything. "I think you're a dirty liar."  
  
He blinks before he snorts and grins at her. "That so?"  
  
"Mm-hmm."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"Because you, Dan, are going through all the symptoms of a mid-life crisis."  
  
He scoffs. "I am not."  
  
"You are too."  
  
" _No,_ I'm _not._ " He crosses his arms over his chest. "Trust me, I know what those look like. My uncle went through one when I was growing up, thank you very much. And I think I can say that I've successfully not gone out and bought a hot rod, haven't tried to seduce hot girls just out of high school at a club, and haven't gotten massively drunk or blazed either."  
  
Suzy can feel her eyes getting a little languid and annoyed, just like her tone. "Sooo...the motorcycle, freaking out over your gray hair, massive ambition in lieu of your job, ridiculous spending, new wardrobe...that's all just, y'know, completely unrelated, right?"  
  
Danny opens his mouth. Closes it again. Blinks rapidly before looking away and repeating the actions.  
  
"You don't wanna lie, do you?"  
  
"Shut up, I just-"  
  
"Another thing, _wow,_ this massive personality change is sucking tons of cock right now."  
  
" _Personality_ change?! Pfft!" He throws his head back and laughs. "What personality change?"  
  
"You're acting very dickish and that's not cool. And it's definitely not you. You, Dan, you're funny and bubbly and happy and bouncy and-"  
  
"And maybe I'm tired of being that way."  
  
"Or maybe you're trying to make a whole new you because you think you're getting old."  
  
He's silent again. It's actually fascinating to watch everything play across his face, the indignation followed by the frustration and then the resignation when he relaxes more into the couch and sighs heavily. "I'm...I'm just..."  
  
She waits.  
  
"...Jesus fucking Christ, Suzy, I'm thirty-five. I'm like...I have _gray hair._ What the fuck is that?"  
  
If only she was recording this as proof. Arin owes her something. She's just not sure what it is yet. Maybe a triple-orgasm night and a buttload of head.  
  
"I, what, sort of tripped into Grumps? And suddenly I'm making enough money to quit my job? After years of struggling like mad and trying to make it as a musician, I just accidentally make it happen when Arin did it almost without any high school and being purely self-taught or figuring shit out with like Ross or whatever, and he did it all ten years earlier than me? I... _fuck!_ "  
  
She can't help but laugh too, because he might be flustered and frustrated, but it sounds a little more like him. The fact that his tone is a little more joking than serious. She missed that.  
  
"And he like got super lucky, didn't he, because he got somebody like you along the way, right?"  
  
Suzy blinks, smile freezing a little.  
  
"Somebody supportive and to push him, yeah, but also to help him. I mean, Jesus, Suze, the whole Grumps thing, it would've gone belly up if you hadn't stepped in and started doing all the scheduling. And you're just..." He hesitates, face softening, starting to smile. "I mean, you're beautiful, like, the most gorgeous woman to exist ever, but you're hilarious, and you know how to soften a moment, and you call people out on their shit - like Ross, like when he was saying I should get hit by a car or whatever - and even things like this, where you show up when somebody's being a dick and don't pull punches because you know they need to talk but just don't know how and need somebody to make them. I just..." He shakes his head. "Sometimes I get sort of..."  
  
Curse her accidental blushing.  
  
"...he's a damn lucky man, Arin, and he'd better not forget that."  
  
"I don't let him," she murmurs sort of distantly, trying to stay on top of this moment instead of letting it overwhelm her, because she's almost completely sure that he was going to say he gets sort of jealous of Arin sometimes, and that means that he thinks about her, doesn't it?  
  
"You probably don't even have to try. He's not hesitant like some people. He's going to appreciate having you every day and never stop."  
  
She stares at him. And she waits. Because, she realizes, all she really wants is for him to stop with the shitty pretense and say what's racing through his head.  
  
But he's not, is he?  
  
"I have a twin," she says softly, and Danny laughs like she expects him to. "There's always her."  
  
"Nah, she's not you." He grins and tilts his head back, looking up at the ceiling, and she swears she sees a little redness going down his cheeks and over his neck too. "Besides, I'm old now, aren't I? Like anyone your age would be into me anymore in the first place."  
  
"Geez, Danny, you're not even ten years older than me."  
  
"That's still more than enough."  
  
"Whatever. I still think you're sexy as hell."  
  
He laughs again, harder and a little forced this time around, and closes his eyes. She wonders if he's trying to block out a little regret and pain. "Don't lie, Suze. I'm a gray-haired string bean and that's all there is to it."  
  
"Do you want me to prove it?"  
  
The silence is dead, and the tension appears so suddenly that it almost snaps her in half. It's a weight cracking down from the ceiling. Water freezing in an instant and becoming impossible to swim through. Danny opens his eyes and slowly looks at her, furrowing his brow, darting his tongue out to lick his lips. "What?"  
  
"Do. You want me. To prove it?"  
  
She hears him let out a soft, but shaky breath, and in that instant everything is confirmed. A million moments in their history suddenly link up: the first time she shook his hand at a party and became aware of him watching her all night, him remembering her birthday without any reminder and showing up with a present every year, the way he blushed and joked the moment away when Ross suggested she be an NSP model in a video, the Friend Zone where that stupid Wii-U game kept pairing them up for the most outrageous personal-space-destroying things, the long nights they spent on a couch together after Arin went to bed because he was too interested in listening to her talk about her taxidermy or her modeling or her YouTube channel or anything else under the sun.  
  
The way he simultaneously loves being around her and avoids her like the plague because he clearly doesn't want to get his heart broken already more than it is.  
  
"What do you mean?" And he sounds broken and even a little scared right then, and somehow it's the fact that he's not even trying to joke his way out of this that solidifies the decision in her mind.  
  
She's going to fuck him.  
  
She's gonna do it because they both want it, because they both care about each other, because her heart swells a little when she looks at him just like it does when she looks at Arin and that's all there is to it, and because she's been so blind all this time to think he didn't feel the same way. She licks her lips. "...what if I just show you?" And then she takes off her shirt.  
  
"Jesus, Suze!" Danny nearly throws himself over the back of the couch with how he stiffens, arms gripping the back of the couch, eyes almost popping out of his head, but he's not looking away, is he? "What the fuck are you doing?"  
  
"I'm showing you how sexy I think you are." She tosses the shirt over the arm of the sofa and rustles her hand through her hair. "Isn't that obvious?"  
  
"I...Suzy, you're..."  
  
Wearing her cutest push-up bra? Yeah, she knows that. Makes her tits look fantastic.  
  
"You're _married!_ "  
  
Oh. Right. "Yeah, I...look, I know, but Arin sort of talked this over with me-"  
  
" _What?!_ "  
  
"He started the discussion, I swear to God, and look, all you need to know is that it ended with him helping me figure out that I sort of have this big huge thing for you, and he's totally cool with us having sex, and I just-"  
  
"SUZY!"  
  
"What!"  
  
"You've got to be shitting me!"  
  
He's rapidly descending into a panic, isn't he? Fantastic. She'd really just prefer to grab the bulge she sees growing in his way way WAY too tight jeans and fuck the everliving shit out of him, but she also sort of recognizes that it'd ruin their friendship for good, and that would suck enormous amounts of dicks. She'd never get to fuck him again if that happened.  
  
"Danny, I promise I'm not lying to you. This is really a thing. It isn't a joke. It's actually happening. Just slow down and think about it, okay?"  
  
"This is what he meant, isn't it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"He told me you had terrible plans for me, and that he was okay with whatever it was, and just to go with it, and nononoNO there is NO way this is what he meant, there's no way he'd be okay with it!"  
  
Patience might be a virtue, but she never said she was a saint. "For the love of God." She sighs and stomps over. "Where is it?"  
  
"Where's what?"  
  
"Where's your phone?"  
  
"In my pocket, but-"  
  
She goes after it without hesitation, deflecting his flailing hands with one of her own and fishing his iPhone out of his pocket with the other. She hops onto the couch and leans into him, and he's so shellshocked by it that he just stares at her in horror, doesn't fight it when she holds up her index finger and pinkie and sticks her tongue out as far as it'll go at the camera. She takes the photo, examines it to make sure that her state of undress is visible and that it'll communicate the message as clearly as possible, and then sends it immediately to her husband. "There."  
  
"What the hell are you doing?!"  
  
"Reassuring you." She drops his phone into his lap and then grabs his face, staring him right in the eye. "Tell me you don't want me."  
  
He stares at her, eyes widening.  
  
"Tell me, and I'll put my shirt on, and I'll go. I won't even pout. And I sure as hell won't bring this up again. We can be bros, just like we've always been. But if you _do_ want me...then why the hell would you fight it if I told you you could have me? That I want it too? And that there's going to be absolutely no repercussions?"  
  
He shakes his head slowly, a shaky little breath shooting out. "There's always repercussions."  
  
"Fine." She rolls her eyes. "Your repercussion...will be that you'll never come as hard as you come right here ever again. Unless you wanted to fuck me again. And then we could easily make it happen."  
  
"I don't..." He blinks and tries to look away, but Suzy holds him there, tilts her head to follow his eyes. "That's not how it works, Suze. We both know that. Arin will get pissed, or you'll get sick of me, or..."  
  
"He's not going to get pissed." And then she lifts her hand and ghosts it gently through his hair, smiling. "And there's no way I'm ever getting sick of you."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Have I gotten sick of you yet?"  
  
He's silent.  
  
"Besides. How do you know what'll happen unless you try?"  
  
"I'm thirty-five and single for a reason, Suzy."  
  
"Because you're scared to try?"  
  
"Because girls find a reason to leave every damn time."  
  
"I find that hard to believe," she murmurs, flicking her eyes back down to his. "Maybe it's because they just don't know how to work through shit."  
  
He's still keeping his hands pinned to his sides, but at least he's looking at her closely now. Like he's trying to read her mind. "What exactly are you wanting to happen after...after whatever you're suggesting right now?"  
  
And that's a good question. A friendship with benefits? A polyamorous relationship? Fuck, she doesn't know. She doesn't have a goddamn clue. "...I think I just wanna...see where it goes."  
  
They sit there watching each other for a few seconds until the moment is shattered by Danny's phone vibrating in his lap. He picks it up and opens the text back from Arin.  
  
It's a picture as well. It's Arin giving a massive thumbs up and a lecherous grin. And the only words are _'if u dont make her cum im gonna beat the shit outta u'_  
  
When she looks up at Danny with a laugh, he's watching her too, but now his eyes have taken on this...hot bit of fire, and it's enough to make her laugh die out. "That's quite a challenge," he murmurs.  
  
"I guess so," she murmurs back, quirking a brow.  
  
"Your husband is so weird. I mean, letting you...go off and, what, sleep with one of his best friends?" He shakes his head a little as he bites his bottom lip for a moment, and that's actually sort of stupidly hot, enough to make her heart skip a beat and send a rush of heat straight to her core. "How does he even know he's going to get you back?"  
  
"He doesn't own me," she shoots back. Reaches to poke the tip of his nose. "And, uh, neither will you. Even if you make me come thirty times."  
  
He finally touches her, even if it's only tentatively cupping her cheek in his massive hand, but she thinks that might be all she needs for right now.  
  
At least, that's what she thinks before he gently pulls her in for a kiss.  
  
He tastes like Skittles. How fucked up is that? He's one of the sweetest men she's ever met in her life, and he even tastes like it, Jesus fucking Christ. She groans as she leans into the kiss a little more, immediately tries to kick it up a few notches, but no, he's not going for it. He holds her face between his hands and guides the kiss himself, keeping it slow, gentle, one big luxurious give-and-take between their lips, like the tide undulating on the beach. It doesn't take long for her to stop fighting it. She lets him lead her, drowning a little more with each passing second, and it's incredible, absolutely delectable and hedonistic. She could be satisfied with just this, maybe.  
  
She thinks that, anyway. But the minutes tick by with that sinful kissing, and it takes just one shift, just one moment of her legs rubbing together, for her to feel how wet she already is.  
  
The realization comes in waves. How wet she is. The sudden quick, quivering pulse of her clit when her thighs squeeze together. The way her heart races like she's just set to sprinting for the last lap of a marathon. How much pain her pussy is in, tingling and aching and _needing._  
  
She breaks the kiss with a sharp gasp, but Danny just goes for her neck, starts nibbling at her skin there and making her burn all the more. "Holy fuck, Dan, I want you," she breathes.  
  
He makes a soft sort of questioning murmur against her pulse point, fingers sliding into her hair.  
  
"I want to fuck the shit out of you."  
  
They give a little more pressure until his nails are scraping against her scalp in the most incredible way.  
  
"Right here on this couch. Right the fuck now."  
  
Danny nips at her then with a groan, one of his hands flitting down to cup her hip through her skirt, and when he squeezes she arches her back, eyes flying shut.  
  
"I'm not fucking kidding," she snaps, feeling blindly for his belt and realizing that he's not wearing one. Fumbles to pop open the button instead. "Get these pants off."  
  
It's when her wrist brushes against his cock, already so fucking hard for her, that he breaks away from her neck and gasps. "Jesus, Suzy." Grabs her wrist and looks her right in the eye. "Don't you...don't you wanna take your time? I mean, what if this...doesn't happen aga-"  
  
"If it doesn't happen again, trust me when I say that'll be purely your decision, because right now? I wanna know what it feels like to have sex with you on every fucking surface of this apartment." She looks him in the eye and tries to ignore how full and swollen his lips are after that kissing, how she really wants nothing more than to kiss him again until they bleed. "What do you say?"  
  
He nods so quickly that she thinks he might break his neck. "Fuck yeah."  
  
"Then shut up and let me fuck you before you before I lose my goddamn mind."  
  
He lets her straddle him easily, hands going to squeeze her hips and slide over the curve of her ass as she makes quick work of his button and zipper and starts wiggling those pants down. "I-I've gotta make this good for you too, though, and I'm..." Danny laughs sheepishly. "Suzy, I'm gonna last like five minutes tops, you're so goddamn hot."  
  
"You know what gets me off when I'm this turned on, Avidan?" she asks, always a little amazed at how husky her voice gets right here, right when she's so close to getting what she wants. "More than anything?" She leans in until they're nose-to-nose, planting one hand on either side of his head. "A big, throbbing cock pounding my pussy." Watches as his eyes widen a little more, listens as he breathes a groan she doesn't even know if he's aware of. "Sweetie, you can rub my clit and suck on my tits if you want, but guess what? I'm gonna last just as long as you are just because I finally get to have you."  
  
And with that, she's tired of waiting. She pulls his jeans down to the middle of his thighs and starts tugging at his boxers too. Danny's getting lost in sliding his hands up her skirt, cursing softly when he encounters the bare skin of her ass and the slight fabric of her thong. "How long?" she breathes. "How long have you wanted to fuck me?"  
  
"You made me wet the first day I saw you, Danny," she murmurs back as his cock finally comes into view, a beautiful specimen, so different from Arin's but so perfect all the same. "I can't even tell you how many pairs of my favorite panties I was ruining and never even knew it was your fault."  
  
"Fuck..."  
  
"You?"  
  
"The first night I met you I had a dream that I picked you up and fucked you against my shower wall." He laughs breathlessly. "The dreams never stopped."  
  
"Well, we'll have to try that, won't we?"  
  
He throws his head back against the couch and spits out a "Shit," biting his bottom lip so hard that he nearly rips the skin open.  
  
"Maybe after we're done here."  
  
He laughs again. "I'm not as young as I used to be, Suze."  
  
"I think I can find a few ways to tease you up." She leans up on her knees and shoves her underwear to the side. Nearly feels her legs give out when she feels the head of his cock slip between her pussy lips. "Oh fuck, you're so hard already, Jesus."  
  
It's hilarious how tense he gets, how his hands squeeze her ass so hard that she's pretty sure he's leaving marks, how he buries his face in her neck and holds his breath for a few seconds. And then a hurried panted sentence. "I-I don't have condoms here they're all in my room I need to-"  
  
"I'm on the pill, Dan. You trust me that little?" She grins as she plants her hands on his chest and shoves him back against the couch again, feels the air shoot out of him as he stares at her again with those huge sparkling eyes. "C'mon. Enjoy the ride."  
  
She sinks down onto him with no other preamble, and shouts a curse of her own at how ready she was, the sudden feeling of him stretching her, of her sinking down as far as he'll fit. There's the way that he's digging his nails into her skin too. God, she's gonna have fucking bruises all over her ass.  
  
"You okay?" she whispers.  
  
"Oh my God, I'm fucking amazing," he whispers back.  
  
"Good." So she lifts her hips nearly to his tip and then drops back down just as suddenly. Revels in the way her toes curl in her boots.  
  
This is her favorite way to fuck for so many reasons she'll never admit out loud. Being in complete control of the pace, the tempo, the force. Getting to see her partner's face contort in pure ecstasy as he watches her work, marvels at how she makes him feel. The way that she can grind down the shaft, can make her clit pulse a little more frantically as it presses against all those little veins and ridges on the way down.  
  
But the control...yeah. It's mostly that.  
  
She's going to have so many stains on her skirt, she can tell already, but she can't make herself slow down. Can't bring herself to care. Not when she's fucking Danny. Not when he's making those low, musical noises in the base of his throat, so fucking beautiful, so like when he sings and yet so not. The full weight of the moment seems to come at him all at once, and then he's not even bothering with unhooking her bra, he's just shoving the cups down, and it doesn't matter that the underwire is digging into her ribcage because he's palming one tit and sucking at the other, every little hum making the nerves in her stupidly sensitive nipple quiver and sing.  
  
She wants to tell him to stop because he's going to cut the time she's going to last in half, but she can't manage it. All she can do is groan, spit out some filthy words, purr his name, and he likes that, doesn't he, because she can feel him twitch inside of her every time she breathes out a quiet "Fuck, Danny..." And that's so fucking addicting, so heady, because she wasn't lying, just having something inside of her, whether it's a dildo or a finger or a cock, it's enough to get her going until she's gone. She rolls her hips a little more and listens to how his hum against her skin turns into a groan, full out pornographic moans that make her break out in a sweat.  
  
"You feel so fucking good, Danny," she whispers, raking a hand through his short hair, throwing her head back with her eyes squeezed as tightly shut as she can manage. "So hard inside me, so...so fucking thick..." She can already feel the way her pussy is buzzing, the way the pulsing intensifies every time she grinds against his pelvis for a millisecond before she slides away again. "...oh my God, I'm gonna come."  
  
He makes a soft "Mm-hmm" against her breast, begins meeting her in the middle with the way his hips start bucking, slamming into her so hard that star start breaking behind her eyelids.  
  
They break one by one until the supernova explodes.  
  
She cries out, nearly screams the roof off the fucking place as she grinds into him, teases out every flash of color on the kaleidescope shining on her eyes and every fiery tingle exploding in her nerves. Feeling him let go inside of her with a shout of his own, that only prolongs the sensation, makes her subconsciously focus on squeezing her internal muscles all the more to make Danny whimper.  
  
It's slow coming down. So fucking slow. But when she does, all she can process is that she has no idea how Dan Avidan works. Does he immediately like to go and take a piss? Does he need a little distance to cool down? But when she starts to move away he wraps his arms tightly around her, buries his face in her shoulder with a quiet "Nono, cuddles, cuddles are...are good."  
  
"Yeah," she whispers back just as fervently. "Yeah they fucking are."  
  
They collapse on their sides on the couch, and Danny almost slams his head on the arm but narrowly misses. They lay there in a heap, wrapped around each other so closely that she's sweating like crazy, but it doesn't fucking matter, does it?  
  
Danny's the first one to whisper again. "That was really fucking hot."  
  
"Mm-hmm." She can't manage more than that right now.  
  
"I...I can't believe we...shit."  
  
"Mm-hmmmmmm..."  
  
He begins smoothing her hair, starts pressing gentle kisses down her temple and over her cheek and onto her chin. "Did you...I mean, you...you enjoyed it?"  
  
She chuckles. "Did you miss the part where I milked your cock when I came?"  
  
"I-I mean..."  
  
He's cute right now. Like a eighteen-year-old boy, not a thirty-five-year-old man. She slides her hand into his vest and begins drawing large, slow circles over his sweaty skin. "If you're wondering if I'm willing to have another go...then yes."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Mm-hmm. Name the time and place, sweetheart."  
  
"Jesus Christ, I can't believe it. You're so...so perfect, and I've liked you for so long, and I just..."  
  
She smiles blissfully, closing her eyes.  
  
"...what the hell's Arin going to say?"  
  
And in that moment she decides she doesn't actually give a fuck that they're probably going to talk about her sexual habits and likes and needs in between Grump sessions, because honestly? She's fine with that.  
  
After all, the next thing on her quickly-forming Need To Have list is a threesome with them both.


End file.
